Maybe..

"Maybe.. Maybe, one day it'll all be alright.. One day it'll all make sense.. Maybe one day it wont hurt so much.. Maybe one day we'll just stop waking up at the same time.. Maybe one day we'll start liking different songs.. Maybe one day your eyes will creep me out.. Maybe one day the jokes just wont work.. Maybe one day we'll stop relating to each other.. Maybe one day we'll just not wanna meet up.. Maybe one day we'll have our own meals to bother us.. Maybe one day we'll have our own journeys to worry about.. Maybe to talk about it.. But maybe, it wouldn't be so hard then.. I guess.. It'd be just funny.. And embarrassing.. But whatever it'd be then.. Its not now.. Because now it hurts and pains.. And makes me mad.. U have no idea how much I've one day I'll forget to hold your hand while crossing.. Maybe one day I wont miss your bike so much.. Maybe one day your height will really bother me.. Maybe one day I'll hate myself for falling for you.. Maybe one day.. It'll all make sense.. One day it wont be so hard..
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I dont know if I'm waiting for that day or not.. That one day.. But, Its hard... I wished so much for myself to be in his place that day.. The day when he found u.. Bleeding.. Weak.. I'd give so much in this world for me to be in that place.. Comforting.. Dulling the pain.. If I wasn't over suicide.. This would be the best excuse.. For me to die.. And escape in a different possibility.. A different dimension.. A different way.. A way where I'd be with u, if not forever then at least, just that day.. Right there.. Rocking.. Patting.. Right there.. Right here..
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But then again.. Maybe, I'm gonna read this after some time and laugh at myself for writing this down.. So before I feel too embarrassed about this.. I'm gonna send this over..
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And of ur questions.. Of course it hurts.. Then it hurts more when you ask, "if it hurts".. Then I think of your selfishness.. And then feel guilty because there's not an entire selfless meaning in my "sacrifice"..
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I always wanted a twist in my life.. And the God blessed me with one.. I used to think, I'm so imaginative that I've imagined every piece of shit that I can get into.. But then he goes ahead and checks me with this.. I cant help but smile at my naive self.. And his piece of mind..
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This is the best of me.. In the worst of words.. The worst of times.. But still, somehow, the best of moments.. I fight hard.. I've been fighting with this from the train.. I dunno what spurred me.. I dunno what attracted me.. But like I say.. The whole package..
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I'm not trying to find a solution.. I'm not trying to find any answer.. I'm done doing that.. I brought to u a solution once, and madly hoped that it would be scrapped.. But I wouldn't be the one to scrap it.. U scrapped it for me.. U did what I wanted you to do for me..
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I dunno what to do from here.. I dunno where to go.. I just know that i have the best time of my life with u.. And maybe, it wont be so hard one day..
Maybe..."
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This was the beginning... One of the first things I wrote to my very pretty girlfriend... A little cheesy, i know... But, notice a faint optimism...??